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25 November 2024

Supporting children through grief

This blog offers guidance on supporting grieving children, with practical tips, emotional validation, and resources for families coping with loss.

Helping young hearts heal

When a child experiences the loss of a loved one, it can be a confusing and overwhelming time for them. Children often process grief differently than adults, and they may struggle to express their feelings or understand what has happened. At St Michael’s Hospice, we understand how challenging it can be to support a grieving child, and we’re here to offer guidance and reassurance during this difficult time.

How children experience grief

Children’s understanding of death varies depending on their age and developmental stage:

  • Young children may not fully grasp the permanence of death and may repeatedly ask about the person who has died.
  • School-age children might begin to understand death is permanent but can struggle with feelings of guilt or anger.
  • Teenagers often comprehend death like adults but may feel isolated in their grief or express it through mood swings and withdrawal.

It’s important to remember that children’s grief can come in waves—they may appear unaffected one moment and deeply distressed the next.

Tips for supporting a grieving child

  1. Be honest and clear
    Use straightforward language to explain what has happened. Avoid euphemisms like “gone to sleep,” which can confuse younger children.
  2. Encourage questions
    Let the child ask questions and answer them as honestly as possible. It’s okay to admit if you don’t have all the answers.
  3. Validate their feelings
    Acknowledge that it’s normal to feel sad, angry, or confused. Reassure them that it’s okay to cry or to not cry, as everyone grieves differently.
  4. Maintain routines
    Familiar routines provide a sense of security and stability during a time of upheaval.
  5. Create a safe space
    Encourage the child to express their feelings through drawing, writing, or talking. Let them know they can share memories or thoughts without judgment.
  6. Keep the memory alive
    Help the child remember their loved one by creating a memory box, planting a tree, or sharing stories and photos.

Where to find help

Hope Support Services

Hope Support Services help young people aged 5 and over through a family health crisis. There are different ways of getting their support but wherever you live, Hope has something for you.

UK support services for bereaved children

  • Winston’s Wish: 08088 020 021 – A national charity offering bereavement support specifically for children and young people.
  • Child Bereavement UK: 0800 02 888 40 – Helping families rebuild their lives after loss.
  • Hope Again by Cruse: 0808 808 1677 – A support service for young people who are grieving.

You are not alone

Grieving is a journey, and children need reassurance, understanding, and patience as they process their loss. By offering a safe and loving environment, you can help them navigate this difficult time.

At St Michael’s Hospice, we’re here to support families through every stage of their grief, providing compassionate care and resources for children and adults alike.

Sign up now to hear about how we care for families across Herefordshire and beyond and how you can help