Supporting children through grief
Helping young hearts heal
When a child experiences the loss of a loved one, it can be a confusing and overwhelming time for them. Children often process grief differently than adults, and they may struggle to express their feelings or understand what has happened. At St Michael’s Hospice, we understand how challenging it can be to support a grieving child, and we’re here to offer guidance and reassurance during this difficult time.
How children experience grief
Children’s understanding of death varies depending on their age and developmental stage:
- Young children may not fully grasp the permanence of death and may repeatedly ask about the person who has died.
- School-age children might begin to understand death is permanent but can struggle with feelings of guilt or anger.
- Teenagers often comprehend death like adults but may feel isolated in their grief or express it through mood swings and withdrawal.
It’s important to remember that children’s grief can come in waves—they may appear unaffected one moment and deeply distressed the next.
Tips for supporting a grieving child
- Be honest and clear
Use straightforward language to explain what has happened. Avoid euphemisms like “gone to sleep,” which can confuse younger children. - Encourage questions
Let the child ask questions and answer them as honestly as possible. It’s okay to admit if you don’t have all the answers. - Validate their feelings
Acknowledge that it’s normal to feel sad, angry, or confused. Reassure them that it’s okay to cry or to not cry, as everyone grieves differently. - Maintain routines
Familiar routines provide a sense of security and stability during a time of upheaval. - Create a safe space
Encourage the child to express their feelings through drawing, writing, or talking. Let them know they can share memories or thoughts without judgment. - Keep the memory alive
Help the child remember their loved one by creating a memory box, planting a tree, or sharing stories and photos.
Where to find help
Hope Support Services
Hope Support Services help young people aged 5 and over through a family health crisis. There are different ways of getting their support but wherever you live, Hope has something for you.
UK support services for bereaved children
- Winston’s Wish: 08088 020 021 – A national charity offering bereavement support specifically for children and young people.
- Child Bereavement UK: 0800 02 888 40 – Helping families rebuild their lives after loss.
- Hope Again by Cruse: 0808 808 1677 – A support service for young people who are grieving.
You are not alone
Grieving is a journey, and children need reassurance, understanding, and patience as they process their loss. By offering a safe and loving environment, you can help them navigate this difficult time.
At St Michael’s Hospice, we’re here to support families through every stage of their grief, providing compassionate care and resources for children and adults alike.
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