It’s Dying Matters Awareness Week

You may have seen our post about the wide variety of terms people use to describe death and dying.

“Kicked the bucket”, “fell off the perch”, we can all probably quote a few.

We caught up with Karen Evans, our Counselling and Bereavement Lead, to ask why we often add humour to this often sombre subject.

“Our language around death is often metaphorical and humorous because death is one of the most emotionally-charged, feared and socially delicate human experiences,” said Karen.

“Indirect language helps people manage that discomfort. Expressions like “fell off the perch,” “kick the bucket,” or “popped their clogs” serve several overlapping functions.”

These functions are:

Easing anxiety about death
Speaking plainly (“he died”) can feel stark or brutal. Metaphors soften the emotional impact by creating distance. Humour can make an unsettling reality more bearable.

Creating social tact
Indirect phrases can feel kinder, especially in casual conversation or when discussing someone not closely known. Saying “passed away” may seem gentler than “died.”

Humour as psychological defence
Humour is a common coping mechanism. Gallows humour lets people confront fear while signalling resilience: “We know death is serious, but we can still laugh.”

A deeper point
As humans, we know we will die, but we dislike confronting that knowledge directly. So, language becomes a buffer. Metaphor and humour allow us to speak about death while looking at it sideways.

In short, we joke and use metaphor around death not because it is trivial, but because it matters so much.